Is it normal to reach a point where you just feel silly
getting made up? Last night, I thought I’d fix myself up for the old man. We
were meeting for dinner at a big fancy (not) Mexican restaurant in town. Side
note: When we eat out, it’s with a 20-month-old, so all of our meals are fast
and consist of us trying to get our dear child to “sit back down in the high
chair, fine, sit in the booth with us, but be still, stop banging on the table,
stop staring at the people behind us, stop screaming, stop flicking water
across the table, hurry, get the chip stuck from out of this throat, hurry,
give him some water, he must’ve gotten a jalapeno, and on and on and on….it’s
literally a fun fest. I don’t even know
why we eat out anymore. It’s no faster than eating at home and certainly no
cheaper. But part of me misses those days when we could go out to eat, talk
about our day, and have someone else do the dishes. Maybe that’s why we eat
out. I just don’t want to do dishes.
Anyways, so I decide I need to change up my every day
appearance and fancy it up for my husband. I feel bad for the poor man; I only
ever wear real clothes if we’re visiting his family (In-laws: it’s the truth).
The rest of the time, and I mean, every single day, I wear an old t-shirt (I
have four or five of the really old, thin, comfy ones that are my favorites
that I keep in constant rotation), boxer shorts in the warm months and pajama
pants in the cold months, no makeup and a ponytail and that’s it. I don’t even
wear jeans. If I have to go to the grocery store, I’ll get “dressed up” with
some gym shorts and flip flops. I can’t blame my wardrobe choices on the baby like
most moms can because I dressed this way long before he was even thought of.
I’ll blame it on working from home and not having to wear real clothes for
work. I HAVE to blame it on something; it’s not MY fault I look this way. ;)
So I curled my hair and did full makeup and felt like a
clown. Seriously. No, more like Dolly Parton and/or RuPaul. I had big hair,
lipstick, and felt ridiculous. But the only way to “fix” it was to shower and
ain’t nobody got time for two showers in one day, so I tried to brush down the
curls and blot away the lipstick and make the best of it. My husband always
compliments me when I wear real clothes and makeup, because it is so rare. As
soon as my husband saw me, he said “Oooh you curled your hair” in the way a man
might say if he saw a little girl wearing her mom’s eye shadow or nail polish.
And I could tell he was even laughing at me on the inside. I told him to drop
it; I did the best I could. He made some comment about how he liked me wearing
real clothes and “couldn’t wait to get me home,” but that was a pity compliment
and got him nowhere. Trust me.
So what happened? I used to get fixed up and think I
looked good. Well, not good. But not bad. Instead of feeling confident, I just
felt like I was in a silly costume. I have either officially hit dumpy mom mode
or something else is going on. I just don’t know what. Perhaps it’s just
because it is such a stark contrast from my normal, everyday wear that it felt incredibly
out of place. But part of me also felt afraid that I looked like Mama June wearing
makeup. You know how when Mama June puts on makeup it just looks weird? Mama
June just shouldn’t wear makeup. Maybe I am the same way. Or maybe I just need to learn how to put
makeup on in a way that isn’t drag queen-ish. I know how to put makeup on for a
regular occasion but was trying to get “fixed” up like I see other people do on
Facebook (yes, I’ll admit, all of this was so I could take a decent pic to put
on Facebook)...I guess I just don’t know where the line between the all-natural look
stops and the over-the-top look starts. Or maybe just go back to my t-shirt
and boxer shorts.
Anyone else felt this way?
P.S. - Anyone who knows me well knows I LOVE LOVE LOVE Dolly Parton. I have been her #1 fan for as long as I can remember. I even dressed up as her (fake boobs, sequin dress and curly blond wig, high heels and all) for a middle school project. In fact, I did more than one school project on the Backwoods Barbie. So no disrespect to Dolly here.
